Welcome to my blog! If you’re here, it’s either because you can’t sleep or because you’re a legal bot hunting for loopholes. Either way – here’s a handful of info about what happens with your data, or rather, what doesn’t happen, because I’m not Facebook.
1. Data I DO NOT Collect
- No logins – so I have no clue who you are.
- No comments – which saves me from trolls and hate.
- I don’t sell your data – because even if I wanted to, nobody would buy it.
2. Anonymous Stats
I use Google Analytics, Bing Webmaster Tools, and Yandex Metrica to see how many people drop by, from which country, and whether they actually read my posts or run away after the first sentence. All of this is anonymous – meaning I might know that someone from Great Britain is reading about feeding earthworms, but I won’t know it’s you.
3. Cookies
Yes, my site may use cookies. But not to stalk you around the internet – just to remember that you already clicked that boring cookie banner. If you’re allergic to cookies, you can disable them in your browser and nothing bad will happen.
4. External Links
My blog may contain links to other sites. If you click them, you’re leaving my safe tiny garden and entering the wild web, where privacy policies are often hidden in the fine print. I’m not responsible for what happens on those other sites.
5. Privacy Policy Updates
One day I might update this policy – but let’s be real, nobody will notice, because – as I’ve said – nobody actually reads this. If you’re obsessed with it, feel free to check back every six months.
6. Contact
Got questions? If you really must, you can email me at info@tinygarden.me, but be warned – I reply slower than the tax office processes refunds.
End of transmission! Thanks for making it this far. Now you can go back to reading the blog or take a nap. Your data is safe – because I don’t have it.