Hello everyone! This weekend, I finally did something I’d been putting off for a long time — I cleaned out the special room that my wife calls the shed, where we keep the rubbish bins. But I know better — it’s not just an ordinary shed, it’s a zombie apocalypse bunker! Yes, I know what you’re thinking, but this is serious business. You never know when the world might end and the undead start hunting people. And then you need to be prepared for anything!

So I invested some time and effort into this room to ensure comfort for myself and my family in case of disaster. I don’t have a generator yet, nor a 50-year supply of canned goods, but that’s all still ahead. Better to be prepared early than regret it later. I do have a stock of water and milk. Yes, milk might seem over the top, but until I get a cow (which would actually be a perfect addition to the little vegetable garden), it will have to do. For fun, I could also buy some chickens! I also have a freezer, which can hold meat — or corpses, depending on your preference. And there’s a bike! The bike comes in handy because zombies are slow, so they won’t catch me while I explore nearby villages.

Cleaning the bunker wasn’t easy, because I had to get rid of a lot of unnecessary stuff that just took up space. In a zombie apocalypse, those things wouldn’t be useful at all. I kept only what’s truly essential for survival — namely weapons and ammunition! Well, actually, there’s also some pumpkin purée that my better half made, and she’s an excellent cook. It’s just one of those dishes that helps maintain your sanity during a zombie apocalypse. Enough for starters, and then everyone will have had enough pumpkin for life!

So here I am, ready for the zombie apocalypse. Organized and prepared to survive. Maybe someday I’ll convince my wife that this really is something that could save us from total annihilation!