Most people who read my posts about gardening, testing shoddy products, or family trips probably don’t know that I’m utterly fascinated by what the world might look like after a zombie apocalypse.

No, it’s not the invasion of the undead itself that appeals to me – that seems exceptionally unpleasant, mostly because of all the mess and the social collapse. It’s about the pure, raw simplicity that would follow. Suddenly, all problems would become incredibly basic. Where to find clean water, how to secure shelter, who to share your last can of food with. Pure, beautiful common sense and the fight for survival.

And although I’m not a commando, just a guy who can accidentally break a hammer but has pretty good reflexes when he needs to run away from a wasp – I believe that in such a world, you’d have to manage. That’s why for years, in my free time, I think about survival strategies. It’s my little, private escape from everyday life.

And since I’ve admitted to it, I have something useful for you, relevant even today, and especially in case something does go wrong. Here’s a guide to what truly matters first.

The Evacuation Backpack – Minimalism is Key!

You can find guides online about the ideal backpack – prepared by former commandos. They contain 100 items, weigh 50 kilograms, and are completely useless for anyone who isn’t a pack mule. My philosophy is different. You carry less, you go further, you live longer.

Here is the absolute must-have list. Everything must fit in one, comfortable backpack.

• A 1L or 1.5L water bottle. An obvious necessity. But the bottle must be tough, reusable. You can fill it up, you can hit someone with it.
• A small water filter or purification tablets. Taps will stop working within the first day. Every puddle, every stream becomes a potential source of disease. Don’t drink without filtering, unless you’d rather die of dysentery than become a zombie.
• A metal cup. For cooking, for drinking, for collecting rainwater. The universal survival vessel.
• High-calorie energy bars. For the first 48 hours of shock. Something that gives you energy to think, without the need to cook.
• A man cannot live on canned food alone. I recommend dried meat, instant soups, and freeze-dried meals. Just add hot water.
• Tea bags and instant coffee. Yes. Without coffee, you have no strength to run. It’s a scientific fact.
• Multivitamins. When your diet shrinks to canned food and a dried apple, these pills will save you from scurvy.
• Bandages, plasters, something for a dressing. You don’t survive a zombie horde just to die from a neglected scraped knee.
• Painkillers. For your head, for your back, for the state of the world.
• Anti-diarrhea tablets. Believe me, in a world without sewage systems, this is a weapon of strategic importance.
• A broad-spectrum antibiotic. If you manage to get some anywhere – hoard it like treasure.
• A multi-tool knife. For cutting, slicing, opening, tinkering, and stabbing zombie heads. An extension of your hand.
• A headlamp with spare batteries. Having both hands free during an escape is essential.
• A solar power bank and a charging cable. A chance to charge your phone is a chance to get information. Don’t count on it, but be prepared.
• A signalling mirror. Small, light. For signalling, for peeking around corners. Genius in its simplicity.

Why is dry shampoo more important than a hatchet? Because you want to survive. Hygiene is not a whim. It’s a matter of life and death. Dirt attracts disease, and disease attracts attention. A few wet wipes and a small towel won’t take up space and might just save your skin. Literally.

Your backpack shouldn’t weigh more than 10-15 kg. Pack it. Put it in your hallway. And remember – it’s not a museum of your fantasies, it’s your ticket to survival. At any moment, you must be ready to grab it and run out of the house. Because one bite is all it takes.

Yes, this is one of those things most people don’t know. When I imagine the world after it all, I don’t see chaos. I see silence, simplicity, and pure, beautiful common sense. And a backpack that’s ready for it all.

And now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to check if my guinea pigs are perhaps planning a world takeover in case of a hay supply shortage. It always pays to be prepared.

---

You can find the original version of this post on my blog full of product reviews and daily writing prompts: HERE!